How To Cope Effectively
Coping is all about effectively dealing with, and managing stressful situations. Of course, we’re all different and so the way in which we cope with these things are going to be different, however, regardless of who you are, and how you deal with what life throws at you, there are some universal factors when it comes to coping.
For starters, there are two main types of coping – Problem-Based, and Emotional-Based. Problem-Based focuses on when your situation has changed and so you need to recognise and adapt to it, or do something that will stop you from feeling stressed and anxious about it. It could be interacting with new people to make new friends at a new school, or it could be leaving a toxic relationship. Whatever situation that you find yourself in, problem-based coping deals with the situation itself.
On the other hand, Emotional-Based focuses on your feelings and, as the name suggests, your emotions. If you can’t change the situation that is stressing you out, then you will most likely have to use emotional-based coping, as this aims to improve your feelings rather than focus on a set-in-stone factor that you have no control over, such as, losing a loved one. As mentioned, there isn’t just one defined way to deal with life’s issues, how you cope is up to you, but knowing which type of stress you’re dealing with can help you to best determine the type of coping technique you should be trying to use.
For each of these coping techniques there are also different actions that you can take in order to try to make them as successful as possible.
For problem-based coping, you could try:
ENGAGEMENT – We’ve spoken before about how different people learn and adapt. There are many different ways people get to grips with, deal with, life’s problems, and engagement is one of these ways, particularly when it comes to coping. Planning and beginning the dealing process, regardless of how scary or overwhelming it might appear to be, can help you to manage your situation. If you have just moved schools or jobs, and you don’t know anyone, over time people will accept you as a friend or colleague, but you might not really know them. Making the first move, and engaging with other people can help you to find your place in a supportive team. Generally, what makes us feel stressed is a lack of control. By understanding how things work, the different relationships people have, who’s who, and what the people are like can help you to become comfortable within that environment. So, if you want your situation to change, then engaging with others might be the way forward. Most people, in most cultures, are like a mirror, what you show them is what you get in return, so offer a welcoming smile and be prepared to listen to them.
BOUNDARIES – Maybe stop doing things just to please others. It’s not selfish to put your own mental and physical well being before others, especially if you are in need of a supporting hand yourself. Establish healthy boundaries that you feel comfortable within. If someone, perhaps a friend or family member constantly crosses these boundaries, let them know, and if they continue to do it afterwards, don’t engage with them so often. We all deal with life differently, for some people it’s a walk in the park, others it’s a hike up Everest. So, don’t feel selfish for setting up boundaries around you that are there to protect you, and don’t feel as though you have to humor people who cross these boundaries either.
PROFESSIONAL HELP – Keeping things to yourself can be detrimental to your health. If something is bothering you, constantly making you worry, talk to people you trust. Talk to your parents, your best friend, and if you don’t want to worry them, or involve them in the situation, speak to a professional. Professional therapists, psychologists, sociologists are trained individuals whose job it is to give you the advice that you probably need to hear, and to make sure that you don’t feel stressed out. When you bottle things to yourself, you build up pressures and manifest your issue into something bigger than it probably is, which makes it worse than it is in reality, but your self-esteem and outward perception of yourself can be hit badly, so don’t feel afraid to share your issues. After all, ‘a problem shared, is a problem halved’.
MANAGE TIME – Of course, coping isn’t always to do with change, sometimes it can just be stress. This can be in a personal sense, a social sense, or a career sense. If you find yourself constantly missing assignment or project deadlines which as a result are affecting your mindset, then try to manage your time better. Social media and technology have made it easier than ever before to become distracted with all the latest platforms, notifications and unpleasant news from around the world, but this doesn’t help you. There are many apps nowadays that can help you by limiting the amount of time you can spend on your phone, so if you find yourself going down a rocky road because you can’t keep concentrated on your task at hand, then it might be worth investing in one of these apps to make sure you stop it before it becomes a serious problem that is too deep to escape from.
For Emotional-Based coping, you might want to try:
EXERCISE – As with many things, exercise has more than just one purpose. Exercise has been proven to release endorphins into your body which are neurotransmitters which boost your mood and feelings of well-being. To experience this, you don’t have to go to the gym for hours every day, a twenty-minute walk will do. It might sound like it’s too good to be true, or that it’s just a lie to get people to exercise, but it’s real. Exercise can make you feel better, so when you’re feeling down and you don’t know how to deal with it, a sensible exercise plan might be the option to take.
HOBBIES – If you want to feel good, and put yourself in a positive frame of mind, then try to do something that you enjoy. It’s as simple as that. If you want to feel positive, then do positive things. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as you’re experiencing the benefits from it, that’s the most important thing.
MINDFULNESS – Mindfulness is all about being grateful for what you have and the life you live. It might seem as if you’re under a mountain of pressure, and that might be the case, but there are people in the world who still have it worse. This isn’t a guilt trip, it’s just a reminder that even though you might be struggling to cope, you still have a lot of good things to be thankful for. To fully engage with mindfulness, you might want to create a list of things that you’re grateful to have, envision your happy place, or just think about the people that make you happy.
MEDITATION – Meditation, alongside breathing exercises have been proven to help calm you down. Similar to exercise, studies have shown that meditation can release chemicals like serotonin and dopamine, both of which are used by the body to boost mood, self-worth and self-esteem and give an overall feeling of positivity. Because of this, meditation can be very relaxing, but there are other relaxing methods out there. Getting joy from a pet, writing down your stresses and problems, or getting relief from toys like stress balls or just talking about issues with your mum or a dear friend, all help to improve and increase your level of relaxation which can combat stress.
Coping is all about dealing with life. It’s easier said than done, given life’s unpredictability, but knowing how to effectively pinpoint where your stress and issues are coming from, can ultimately help you to cope better in the present and in the future.