The Importance of Coping
Life is unpredictable, one of the factors that makes life so fascinating is that you never know what’s going to come around the corner, although this also comes with its problems. (See our Plan B podcast and course). As we can’t see into the future, we have to deal with what happens in the present, and unfortunately what happens in the present might not be the most enjoyable thing – but that’s the natural Yin and Yang of life. My father would say, ‘You cannot appreciate a Good day, until you have experienced a Bad day’.
What is usually the cause for these unpleasant moments in our lives, is change. If we know that something is going to happen, for example, if you move house, you can start to cope with, and plan for, the change before it has happened and therefore, you can feel less overwhelmed by the change. However, if the change is unpredicted, and comes out of the blue, such as for example, losing a family member, then coping with it can become more difficult. The reason behind this is because when change occurs, stress can build up. With any substantial change we are forced to step out of our comfort zone, and with that comes the fear of loss, sometimes even as a grieving process. (see our Grief programmes)
Most people at all times want to feel in control of their lives. They want to know that their job is secure, that their bills have been paid, that they know what they’re doing with their life. Change can disrupt this. Experiencing change, whether it’s big or small, one or many, can make it feel like you’re losing control of your life, and this is where coping effectively in these difficult moments is important, because if you don’t anticipate the coping needed then stresses and other mental and physical illnesses can build up.
What can often happen when you feel out of control or you feel like there’s no clear path for you to take, is you can start to compare yourself with others. You can feel as though you should be in control of your life because they seem to be in control of theirs. When this happens, your own self-worth and self-belief, also known as your self-esteem, can suddenly drop to lower levels, and this, if left to fester, can lead to serious health conditions such as depression and anxiety.
Again, coping is one of these things that’s much easier to say than it is to do. For whatever reason, it might be difficult to cope with moving house or school, losing a parent, friend or loved one. Even positive things like getting into university, or getting married and having a child later in life can be difficult to cope with, but these problems need to be faced up to and dealt with for you to move forwards again with a smile. Coping involves adapting to new surroundings, new people, new feelings that you’ve never experienced, or you don’t want to experience, but getting over that initial hurdle of unfamiliarity and unpleasantness is one of key steps to help us all cope, especially if you want to avoid things like depression and anxiety amongst other more serious ill effects.